ROCKRGRL,
Fall 2003
Nomy Lamm: Punk Rock Accordion-Playing Disco Diva
By Jojoboy
One of the greatest challenges to myself from the universe is to live within fractured identities. Theres not any specific identity that I can stand one hundred percent firmly inside of, and that gives me a deeper perspective to understand things from.
So says Nomy Lamm, the self-described Fat-ass, bad-ass, Jew dyke amputee, whos unclogging our heads of all the filthy ideas weve swallowed about ourselves. Shes offering up some gorgeous alternatives, too.Lamms zines and theatrical lectures on fat oppression (the latter of which finds her dressed in fairy wings and waving a magic wand) got her mad props from Ms. Magazine in 1997, when she was cited as one of their Women of the Year. Shes also rocked it on the Sister Spit spoken word tour, and popped up in everything from indie movies to medicine shows.
But its her music that this child of musical-theater-gone-punk calls home. Her solo debut Anthem was released in 2000 and, with its mix of revolution-minded themes and haunting, soaring, soulful vocals, instantly became a classic within the Olympia punk scene. She followed it up later that year with The Transfused, a soundtrack to the acclaimed anti-corporate rock musical she co-wrote with the Need.
Now, three years later, Lamm is back with a new album, Effigy. Though she remains ever bit the self-created bad-ass diva, things are very different now. The effigy is the representation of the self, she explains of the title track. The album documents a really intense process I was going through in facing my fears, who I was in the world, letting go of the ideas that dictate my behaviors, and just letting myself be how I am. As a Virgo with a super analytical, tightly controlled brain, free your mind was really literal for me. I couldnt function anymore within the rules and assumptions Id set for myself and been conditioned with. So, you free your mind/ you free your effigy is about opening things up inside for new experiences and ways of perceiving the world. Its about letting go of expectations, so we can learn how to be in the moment and live in a way that feels authentic.
The album also marks a sharp shift in focus from an external concept of revolution to an internal one. I pretty much had a nervous breakdown when I finished The Transfused. I had worked myself so hard and completely ignored my body, Lamm says. I was totally dissociated. There was a point where I started having visions of myself falling down the stairs. I went through a couple of really introspective, really magical, painful years of delving into it. It helped me understand the effects of industrialization, colonization, brainwashing, patriarchy things Id been politically analyzing from a dissociated perspective.
As ever, Lamms hurricane
vocals take center stage on the new album. Still, theres a huge sonic
difference between Anthems charred punk operatics and Effigys sleek
electronica thump. What Im doing now is total disco-pop, she
says. Its still punk because it was created through punk channels
using punk ethics. This
is made clear on tracks like, Not a Girl, which moves wild booty
and rebels against societal brainwashing all at once.I figure my music
will just keep changing depending on who Im working with and what equipment
I have access to, she says of the new sound. Programming on a drum
machine makes it a lot easier to be a one-person band.
Then theres her accordion, a most unlikely candidate to propel a fierce disco record, but an instrument which Lamm pumps through Effigy and rocks the dance floor with live. Playing the accordion changes what I do a lot, she explains. I just got a new one, and its so beautiful. While drum machines and accordion accompany her during smaller shows, they are only part of her Effigy Extravaganza, a full-on production with elaborate costumes, dancers and set changes. Think Madonnas Blonde Ambition tour gone totally DIY.
Lamm initially had reservations about how a show with huge production values would be received. She was quick to tell potential collaborators that it was not a pop parody. When I was first conceptualizing this show and trying to explain it to people, I was afraid people would get hung up on the freak show aspect of it. Oh, its ironic because a fat amputee could never be a superstar, she says. But as the team came together she felt less defensive about it, and the fact is, Lamm already is a superstar.
Shes made it this
far because shes been singing that freak show aspect loudly
and proudly since the beginning. My art, activism and writing came out
of a community that focused on identity politics, Lamm says. I found
that it was powerful and got peoples attention to list identities like
that. The different ways people
respond is funny sometimes. Theyre like Oh, dont say that
bad stuff about yourself. I try to explain that its just a description,
that none of those terms imply a value judgment to me. If they have a negative
reaction to those words, thats their issue to deal with. Sometimes I think
it would be nice to just be known as a musician or a writer,
but I also think the title helps me reach a lot of people who I wouldnt
otherwise.
Though shes inspired
by a wide range of spiritual practices, from Buddhism to the mystical
arts, Judaism is one that she finds herself coming back to. My Jewishness
is an ethnicity, culture, spiritual heritage, community and political framework,
Lamm says. In many ways it has been a source of strength and belonging
for me in the world. Its also been a source of pain and alienation. I
was the only Jew in my entire elementary school, Ive been the victim of
anti-Jewish hate crimes, and I grew up with the pain of the Holocaust hanging
over my head. At the same time, I was raised in a very white community with
access to a lot of privilege, where Jewishness was spoken of as a religion and
wasnt particularly racialized. I was taught a lot of middle class, white
liberal values about being accepting and
celebrating diversity. This kind of conditioning is cool in some
ways, but can be false when youre operating in the context of a predominantly
white community and living on colonized land.
This is why Lamm currently identifies as a white-girl Jew, claiming both white and minority identity in a punk scene that, like her birth community, constantly checks itself around issues of race and racism, but is challenged when it comes to actually integrating people of color. (You may be the first person of color Ive ever heard really commend white punks for the work theyve done around race, she tells me at one point. Its a nice thing to hear.) The hope is that as she learns to balance seeming contradictions within herself, the integration process will spill over into her work and inspire us to do the same. Effigy brilliantly lays the groundwork.
On the road, she integrates her personal life with her life in the spotlight, interruptin a show to whip out a cell phone and call her sweetheart from the stage. Ive got a birthday song for you, she says, and then to the audience, Can yall make some noise? One song and some wild applause later, shes saying into the receiver, Aw thanks, I love you too! But I have to go now because, you know, Im in the middle of a concert.
Even the drunk frat boy
whos been yelling Hey, baby! from the front row seems touched.
By the shows end, hes watching with awe-struck respect. I
have ideas about the impact I want to have on the world and what I want to do
before I leave it, Lamm says. It is kind of crazy and maybe delusional,
but a lot of it has already come true. Yeah, I know I want a lot. I always want
a lot. But I usually find what I need, so I have faith that I will get it when
Im ready.